Is It That Simple?

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel:
In returning and rest you shall be saved;
   in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.
But you refused  – Isaiah 30:15

 Life is full of storms. Occasionally, there is clear weather for a spell, but the storms are always waiting out there, ready to pounce. No matter how hard we try to avoid conflict, (and, trust me, I hate conflict and have done everything possible to avoid it along the way) it will eventually come find us, and try to wear us down.

The storms seem to kick us when we are already down. I don’t deal with the stress and conflict at all well. (Have I mentioned that I hate conflict?)  My heart rate increases, my ears ring, I shake, and begin to cry. Being an introvert by nature, when conflict hits, I am unable to address the issues in a logical fashion until I have time to process it s – l – o – w – l – y.  Meanwhile it consumes me. I feel stupid.

Sometimes I create my own storms. My overly sensitive conscience, which has been honed and sharpened by legalism, can create storms in my spirit.

My mother passed away last March. She died of Alzheimer Disease and pneumonia. Her body had betrayed her and after she lost her two best friends within several months, she just plain gave up. But, for me, it wasn’t over. I was her appointed Personal Representative, and had to deal with her estate. 

It should have been easy. She had very little estate after four years in a nursing home because Medicaid takes  everything but $35.00 a month. Sometimes if the medical crew do something extra, that has to come out of pocket. But, her cousin predeceased her, and left her a small bequest. In order to administrate her estate, I had to jump through legal hoops, which cost a bundle. By the time Mom’s bills were paid, and her earthly house was laid to rest, there was not much left. 

Mom’s will stated that if there was anything left after all of her obligations were taken care of, and she was buried, whatever might be left should be divided among her four children.
Meanwhile, one of my siblings began insinuating, and then came right out and said it. He thought I had mismanaged Mom’s estate, and he thought my lawyer was a crook. He was certain that Mom had not signed the codicil to her will that made me her personal rep. When I refuted his statements, he called me a liar. Oh, how my inner peace wobbled and fell. 

Have I said anything about how much I hate conflict?
  two dear friends
for prayer
one simply prayed, 
“Lord, shut his mouth.” 

And, He did.
Susan<- makes a mental note about conflict.


About Susan P

Reader, writer, mother, grandmother, wife, traveler...
This entry was posted in Family, peace and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Is It That Simple?

  1. Ann says:

    praise God for direct and effective answers

  2. Oh dear sweet Susan,You have the most tender heart of anyone I know. I don't understand how anyone could possibly think that you would take advantage fo anyone. You are a giver. You care for others to the detriment of you. Jesus sees your heart and He adores you. So glad He answered in such a perfect way.Love you friend.

  3. My husband's grandfather passed away a few days ago. The cause of death…starvation. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 7 years ago. He could no longer swallow most of the time. The uncles thought he should just be let go and refused to allow a feeding tube. My husband hopes they are repaid the same favor some day. Those same uncles are fighting over Grandpa's house. It is sad, Susan. Hugs.

  4. Rehoboth says:

    My sincere condolences for your husband and your family, Diane. Mom had left a Directive, and wanted no feeding tubes, and nothing to prolong her life. Watching her die – I haven't yet found words.As we came down to the end, I asked for Hospice to come in. They were right on it, but the doctor and the nursing home were dragging her feet. Hospice was there for her last week on this earth. I know where she is, and I would not wish her back for anything. But, I will say that this first holiday season without Mom or Dad has been excruciatingly difficult.I felt, and continue to feel, woefully inadequate for the responsibility that I took on because no one else was able to do it. It is the hardest thing I have had to do to date.

  5. Rehoboth says:

    That should say "their feet."

  6. Thank you, Susan. I think my husband's issue is with the greedy uncles that have done nothing but swarm like vultures. None of them helped to take care of grandpa these last seven years but they are lining up for the pickings. My husband is relieved that his grandpa is no longer suffering. He was at Hospice in the last two weeks and they did their best to make him comfortable.

  7. Susan: I want to concur with you post. "Lord, shut his mouth." And he did. What a great way to end it. But I do hope that your sensitive heart finds its rest in what God has planned for you. I have to agree with Julie's comment to you. She says it better than I can. Blessings.

  8. Rehoboth says:

    Thank you, Bill. So much has happened since I wrote that post. One of the things was that my brother later opened his mouth – and apologized. Julie is one of God's precious gems. I am so thankful that she is part of my life.

Comments are closed.