A Mother’s Memoir of Two Sons

(Warning: if you are, or have been, a victim of abuse, this may trigger memories.)
Sexual Abuse in the  
Part 3 of 3
Written and Illustrated by Nancy Bicknell
Shining a bright light on abuse
When I heard the Tina Anderson story on the national news, I knew it was time for our family to also contact the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) Cult Survivors and their Supporters on the internet to get help and support like Tina had.  We all, including Scott, told our stories.  Scott’s classmates found his posts on the site. They were sorry, but they were never told the truth by MBBC. They were told that Scott had been sent away to a boys’ school for being bad.  Doug’s classmates also reached out to him and we felt validated at last.  The IFBs were extremely angry about the posts even though Doug’s alleged  abuser was never named  Mrs. Jones came on the site and posted an apology to Scott calling herself “Scott’s rapist”  We forgave her.
The reaction
 We were shunned and discredited by the MBBC system again.  I thought I would be able to go to my favorite Sunday school class. But when I asked the professor who teaches my class, and who had been my dear friend, he yelled at me for putting gossip on the internet. He told me I was beyond hope, and that I could come to the class, but that he would not talk to me or acknowledge me in any way. He was a deacon and I knew the shunning had been invoked again. 
 I was informed that the meetings that Calvary Baptist eventually had concerning our family had determined after an IFB “internal investigation” that there was no such bad incident during Doug’s spanking.   Pastor Lincoln said that I was mentally ill (based on my hospital stay) and the other pastors agreed that Doug was an alcoholic who was lying or mistaken  about the abuse. 
One of the pastors knew of Doug’s surgery. Part of it was to repair the damage Doug states occurred during the abuse, which had resulted in scarring that had to be removed and repaired.  The pastor we lovingly called Pastor Luv never asked about Doug nor came to the hospital to pray with him. 
Many in the MBBC system have told us also that Scott was not 16, but 17 or 18 despite the fact we have shown his birth certificate and knowing I was in the room when he was born. We were told by the IFBs that Scott’s abuse was not a statutory rape, but that he had chosen to be a relationship with Mrs. Jones. They alleged that Scott had fornicated with another man’s wife.  Therefore he needed to apologize to the church publicly since he caused the church scandal.  That is where things stand today in the IFB: all they offer are rationalizations of how all the IFB abuse was the fault of our family, or never happened. 
Not alone
I have continued to give and receive support on the IFB internet sites.  It has been a long journey through emotional, physical, and sexual abuse in the IFB church.  God has never left me  and  guess what?  God is in nature and I didn’t find God in the IFB church after all. I had found God as a child in the Kickapoo Valley. “Seek, and ye shall find.” 
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About Susan P

Reader, writer, mother, grandmother, wife, traveler...
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One Response to A Mother’s Memoir of Two Sons

  1. Thank you Susan for posting nancy's story. Those of us outside the IFB are clueless until we hear from people like you, nancy, & Julie. Thanks Nancy for being so bold. Praying for healing.

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