Wherein I Explore Faith
On September 27th, 1805 George Mueller was born in Kroppenstaedt, Prussia. As a young man, he drank to excess, mocked Christians, snuck out of hotel rooms without paying, and did jail time. One day, a friend invited him to a Bible study. He went just to make fun of the Christians. During that series of Bible studies, he put his trust in Jesus and became a man of faith.
Mueller moved to England to be a missionary. What broke his heart were the orphans who had no food or shelter. He and his wife devoted their lives to caring for those orphans, and built orphanages for them in Bristol, England. Shortly after their wedding, the Muellers purposed to depend on God alone for their needs. They never asked any human being for financial help.
One morning, the larder was bare, and there was no food for the children:
“The children are dressed and ready for school. But there is no food for them to eat,” the housemother of the orphanage informed George Mueller. George asked her to take the 300 children into the dining room and have them sit at the tables. He thanked God for the food and waited. George knew God would provide food for the children as he always did. Within minutes, a baker knocked on the door. “Mr. Mueller,” he said, “last night I could not sleep. Somehow I knew that you would need bread this morning. I got up and baked three batches for you. I will bring it in.”
Soon, there was another knock at the door. It was the milkman. His cart had broken down in front of the orphanage. The milk would spoil by the time the wheel was fixed. He asked George if he could use some free milk. George smiled as the milkman brought in ten large cans of milk. It was just
enough for the 300 thirsty children. (http://www.christianity.com/church/church-history/church-history-for-kids/george-mueller-orphanages-built-by-prayer-11634869.html)
I can’t say I react in the way George Mueller did. I wish I could. I’ve been struggling since June to find work. God did provide a part time job for me in October at a Christian bookstore. The state of the economy, however, is not kind to brick and mortar bookstores. At the end of three weeks, the owner reluctantly let me go.
People tell me, “God has something better for you” until I want to poke myself in the eye with a sharp stick. It would be less painful. I know they mean well, but right now all I see are employers off-loading employees by the thousands.
I’ve signed up for online tutoring at two companies, and I have one tutoring student who comes about two or three hours a month. I am looking at a legitimate work at home company where I would be an independent agent and set my own hours. But I don’t do well sitting alone in the house for days on end. I need human interaction – at least occasionally.
I don’t doubt that God can provide. I don’t doubt he can provide “something better.” But, there are too many days when my faith is shaky. I can relate with the fellow who said, “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.”
What are you struggling with?