“I do not kill with my gun…I kill with my heart.” – Stephen King, “The Dark Tower”


I have been processing the school shooting in Connecticut since Friday when it happened – mostly unsuccessfully. There is no place in my head to put this information. It hits me as a teacher, mother and grandmother. My heart grieves for the parents, grandparents and extended family members who will be facing Christmas this year with empty chairs at the table.

My pain for those children is not mollified by fatuous platitudes of  “They are with Jesus now.” I think they probably are, but that does not mend the hole that these dead children and teachers left in the lives of others. I think of the songs that will remain unsung, and the stories that will never be told.

Some are asking, “Where was God when that happened?” Others respond that God is not allowed in schools, so we should not be surprised when these things happen. I strongly disagree. As my friend,  Ann, pointed out, the law allows people to pray to God in schools. They may not proselytize, but they may pray. I have a daughter who teaches second grade. I know she prays for her students, and I know that God uses her in that place. God was not absent from school that day.

Then why did that horror happen? I don’t know. I’ve been asking that question for three days now. It’s not about guns. Every head of household in Switzerland owns a gun issued by the government. Switzerland is one of the safest places in the world to live.

I do know that murder has a long history. Cain killed his brother Abel out of anger and jealousy. Cain had a heart problem. King David had a heart problem when Bathsheba turned up pregnant due to their adulterous relationship. He ordered the murder of Uriah the Hittite. King Herod had a heart problem when he killed all of the infants up to two years of age for fear of being replaced by The King of the Jews.

The Jewish leaders in Jesus’ time wanted to kill him because of a heart problem. They hated Him and unsuccessfully tried their best to be rid of Him. Jesus gave up his life on purpose, freely-for them as well as for all of us. And, I know why He did that. Jesus knew that  the only solution to those kinds of heart problems was to give people a new heart. And that was the only way to be able to do it.


About Susan P

Reader, writer, mother, grandmother, wife, traveler...
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13 Responses to “I do not kill with my gun…I kill with my heart.” – Stephen King, “The Dark Tower”

  1. Debbie Morgan says:

    Beautifully expressed. I, too, know God was with those children. But I can’t help but wonder, if God’s moral code had been taught in the shooter’s classroom, as it had been in this country for prior centuries, if that might have made a difference in the shooter’s heart. mind and soul. “Love thy neighbor”.

  2. As a teacher, I learned that unless the parents are on board, not much change can be effected. I know that my daughter works on those things in her classroom, but if the parents are not supportive, it tends to fade into oblivion.

  3. Kevin Spencer says:

    Eloquently worded Susan. Excellent.

  4. Elizabeth Signer says:

    Beautiful, SP.
    God is where HE wants to be when HE wants to be there. He is omnipotent and omnicient and nothing cane keep HIM for HIS agenda. HE doesn’t punish innocent children over the politics of grownups. I believe HE was there, catching their little souls and comforting their fears. There are MANY reasons for why such a terrible thing happened, but KNOWING some of those reasons do not make this any less painful or confusing. God doesn’t answer to US. He was doing what HE always does on that day, and on every day that people exercise their free will and do good and evil. You can fill a person’s heart, mind and soul with the words of Jesus every day, but in the end, people, even those who are mindless and mad, must make a choice between good and evil. It doesn’t make sense because these were the actions of madness, not Godlessness. “You propose NOTHING in the sight of God.”- Mother Abigail, The Stand, Stephen King.

  5. Elizabeth Signer says:

    sorry about the typos… 🙂
    “nothing can keep HIM from HIS agenda”

  6. Neil says:

    Saying “guns had nothing to do with it” is being less than honest -it’s an outright lie.

    Evidence now emerging indicates the son, Adam (Lanza) was indoctrinated in the mother’s enthusiasm for gun culture & took part in her target shooting practice activities (no doubt aimed at human figure oulines). It also appears the mother may have been an end-times hysteric as well.

    Switzerland has beeen modifying it’s gun laws for over 10 years now, and by many American opinions could be considered “tyrranical”.

    • Thank you for commenting on my blog, Neil. The point that I was trying to make was that guns are not the problem. The problem comes from within the person, not from the gun. Yes, guns were used in this instance. But Tim McVeigh killed 168 people without a gun. People can and have been murdered by people who wielded all sorts of weapons as long as there have been people on earth. Bows and arrows, homemade bombs, swords, rocks and bare hands have all been used for murder. The weapons do not cause the murder; murder is a heart problem.

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