Wherein I Explore My Hangup with Phones


Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephant-
No! No! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone-
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I’ve got it right.)

Howe’er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee-
(I fear I’d better drop the song
Of elephop and telphong!)

by Laura E. Richards

What does it mean when someone says, Hello, Breyer's calling?

What does it mean when someone says, Hello, Breyer’s calling?

I get Ms. Richard’s poem. So get it. It pretty well describes my feelings whenever I am obliged to respond to that electronic despot.

Then there is making calls. Even when I am willingly calling my dearest friends and family members there is That Moment When I Realize I Have to Push Some Buttons and Wait for Them to Answer. From what I have read, this is not unusual for Introverts, but knowing that does not decrease my anxiety. I won’t even get into the whole voice mail dilemma.

At one point in my life I vowed I would never have a cell phone. I did not want to be available to everyone all of the time. You know where this is going, don’t you? When I became the main caregiver for my mother, I caved in and got one in case of an emergency. Now there were two: the land line, and the cell phone. Persistent callers have been known to call and leave voice mail messages on both phones. You know who you are. 😉

All of that stopped last year when we pitched the land line and kept just our cell phones (kind of a brave move for someone who has read Stephen King’s book, Cell).  After a few weeks of relief (only one phone to worry about), three things happened. First, I realized that cell phones function best when they are charged up. Second, I discovered that sharing an account with four other people left me with only 200 any minute time. I had been calling faraway friends occasionally, but they are now safe from me assaulting their ears. Third, every business that takes my cell phone number is apt to send me text messages – and I have no text budget on my account.

One ringy dingy...

One ringy dingy…

I need the phone, though, in case someone

who can’t live without having me work for him/her calls me.

I wonder if I could get Ernestine to screen my calls?

Do you have a pet peeve? What is it? 


About Susan P

Reader, writer, mother, grandmother, wife, traveler...
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9 Responses to Wherein I Explore My Hangup with Phones

  1. Ann says:

    yes I have a pet peeve blogs that ask for a comment and then will not let you leave one w/o miles of id on you name (that makes sense maybe tho why?) email like if you do not like what I say you can blast my email? but why in the name of elephones on toadstools does it need my website?

    Beyon that if one will not need to fax there are verizon home phone connect, magic jack 2 and now straight talk home phone that are cheap ways to have unlimited long distance.

    and if this does not go thru it is the last time I will even try

    • Thank you, Ann. No websites are necessary. They are optional.

      • Ann says:

        She asked about peeves and she already knows that’s one of mine 🙂 probably knows me well enough to know what the majority of them are. For this blog web site not required but there are some where it actually is.

  2. Kevin Spencer says:

    March 10, 1876: “Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you.”

    Oh, what a powerful incantation, for it has cursed us ever since.

  3. Bethie says:

    and I tried to call you today on my way home from work…

Comments are closed.